If you cannot understand this, have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, or are in any way confused about what is appropriate and legal sexual expression, stop reading now.
Lastly, I am not a pedophile, don't approve of sexually assaulting children, and only use these themes in my writing because I empathize and identify with the victims of these stories; not the perpetrators. Some of us like to be embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, spanked, and to be nervous, anxious, and afraid. Weird, right? To read more about why these stories were written, please see the "What This Blog is and is NOT -- READ THIS FIRST" post.
Thirteen year old boys think an awful lot about sex so I am probably normal from this perspective. The problem is my fantasies just aren’t about normal sex. Someplace my wiring got scrambled and it has been torture ever since. My fantasies have been holding me prisoner. I really have no control anymore.
The biggest problem is I know my fantasies are a false reality. For whatever reason—and I am still trying to figure out the reasons—all of my fantasies involved spanking and more often than not, I am the one receiving the spanking.
The most common fantasy is a long and drawn out spanking with many positions and different implements culminating in a whole body orgasm that starts at both my penis and my red—though not painful—behind. Somehow my fantasies never hurt or if they do, it is more of a mental, emotional or psychological pain. My bottom gets red and hot but never actually stings or burns.
This is the nature of fantasies: they aren’t real and they don’t have to be. It was, however, all I could think about and it was getting to the point where I had to experience it or I felt like I would go insane. Now, if I had been spanked as a child, maybe all of this could have been avoided. I was spanked a couple times when I was really little. Lately, however, it is just a threat. A couple of times I’ve thought about pushing my luck a little to see if mom would actually spank me. I haven’t though which I still think is a good plan.
One day a couple of months ago, mom went out for a while and I was going insane. I was home watching my little sister—she’s almost 11—and we were supposed to be cleaning the house. I was so horny and excited that I could hardly think but I somehow managed an idea that I hoped would get me what I needed which I thought was a spanking.
Neither of us wanted to clean the house and I knew mom would be mad when she got home if we didn’t clean up. I was totally a retard about the whole thing. I didn’t try to be sneaky at all. I just came right out and said I would do all the cleaning as long as she spanked me every time I did something wrong. I didn’t ask her to get naked or touch me or suck me or anything. Just give me spankings whenever I wasn’t cleaning the house right.
I guess she could have said no, but it must have seemed a silly thing so she said yes. I was elated. The chores were really pretty lame so I got busy vacuuming under her watchful eye. I actually did a reasonably good job. I was nervous about how the first one would go down. So was my sister. I stopped vacuuming and started putting it away when Melissa pointed out that I didn’t get under the big chair. She was right but I hadn’t done it on purpose. I tried to look sorry and started pleading that she not spank me for that. Melissa couldn’t tell if I was serious or not which was a problem. She, unfortunately, gave me a second chance and I vacuumed under the chair.
The next chore was to clean the kitchen. I decided that doing a bad job was a risky way to go so I decided to not do anything at all. After I vacuumed under the chair and put away the vacuum, Melissa told me to go clean the kitchen. I went into the kitchen and just got a snack, sat down and started watching the kitchen TV. Melissa caught me a couple minutes later. I had to make sure that this time I got what I needed so I didn’t beg; I just got angry and told her to stop bossing me around. It worked and she got mad back at me. I immediately apologized and said that I was sorry and she asked the question “what am I to do with you?” It was perfect.
“I guess you should spank me,” I said quietly. It was game-on but neither of us knew what to do. Melissa looked a little unsure of herself, but stayed in character. She just sat in the nearest chair and called me over. I figured the first spanking would be on my jeans, but one should never underestimate the evil lurked within a young girl.
“Take off your clothes; you’re getting a spanking,” she said coldly. In her mind, spankings happened completely naked. Inside, I was cheering but I tried to look a little sorry on the outside.
I took my shirt off and my socks. When I started to work on my jeans, I realized that my perpetual hard-on was about to be staring my sister right in the face. It just seemed a little weird. I was and am still not any sort of monster. I am a skinny kid and I guess the parts just looked bigger compared to my slight build. I have no pubic hair still and I am really pale.
I got my jeans off without falling down and then I had the moment of truth as I reached up to pull down my tighty-whities. I thought for a second about begging to be spanked over my underwear but I was afraid she would say yes. I pulled them down and off and then stood up straight. My sister’s eyes were glued to my crotch.
The little guy was about as hard as he could be and pointed straight up. He was about four and half inches long at the time but very thin. My testicles were drawn up tight right underneath and though I was mostly just a pinkish white everywhere, the very tip of my penis was tinged a light blue.
It was a long moment as both of us got a good eyeful. But then we had to get the main attraction on. “Lay down over my lap,” was the next command barked at me. I took the step it took to get next to her and then reached over her knees to the floor on the other side and lower my penis down to her thighs. She had her legs spread and I was lucky about how I landed. Only the very base of my erection and my testicles rested against her right thigh. The rest of my penis just hung in the space between her legs. It wasn’t until some time later that I realized how close the vagina and penis were during a spanking.
The fantasy lived past that first spanking mostly because she just spanked with her hand. The first one was all about being naked and in the position. It wasn’t long and it wasn’t hard. The first spanks were really soft but then she started hitting harder. It was over after about thirty or so spanks when she asked “Have you learned your lesson? Are you going to clean the kitchen now?” I answered in the affirmative and she told me to get up.
There was only the slightest sting which immediately started to become a gentle tingle. The pleasant tingle and the excitement of the thing was very good. My penis looked even bigger once I got up and the tip was even a little darker blue. It was starting to look angry.
Melissa told me to put my clothes on and clean the kitchen but I answered “maybe I should leave them off in case you have to give me another spanking.” Melissa liked this idea so I started cleaning the kitchen in the nude. It wasn’t hard and there wasn’t much to do. Two things were very embarrassing: first, clearing the table involved many trips across the kitchen and walking was a strange experience. My penis would bob up and down and my testicles would rub against my legs. Second, it was embarrassing facing the sink while washing dishes. The window in front of me looked out into the school park across the street. If anyone had bothered to look, they would have seen a naked boy washing dishes though, of course, it would have been from almost nipple height and above. The other reason was because I was sure that Melissa was looking at my slightly red bottom that was tingling maddeningly behind me. In fact, it was tingling so much it was like it was begging for another spanking.
My last job was to sweep the foyer by the front door and I had a couple problems. I needed another spanking but I couldn’t think of how I could turn this into a spanking. Also, I was running out of time before mom came home. I needed to get a spanking and get the job done. I decided that I would just be snotty to my sister and see if she would take the bait.
“What do you want me to do now?” I said in my most sarcastic voice with my hand on my hip.
“Don’t you use the tone of voice with me. You have to go sweep the foyer,” she bit back. I headed for the utility room and got the broom and dust pan. Once out in the foyer I realized that if someone came to the door, they would certainly be looking at a naked and very sexually excited boy sweeping. Though the idea excited me, I decided it was probably a bad idea to get caught like that. I hurried up and swept and once I was sure that I had the job done, started banging around to get Melissa’s attention.
About thirty seconds of noise making got Melissa standing in the door out of the foyer with a hand on her hip.
“What is all that noise?” she demanded.
“Nothing that you should care about,” I said sarcastically. Then I added “you little miss prissy pants.”
“What did you call me?” she asked more angrily.
“Nothing,” and then under my breath, “you jerk.”
“You’re going to get another spanking if you keep talking that way.”
“Oo, I’m scared,” I said before I even realized how maybe I could make her too angry.
“That’s it. You put that broom away and go to your room,” she commanded.
“Why do I have to go my room?” I chided.
“Because I am going to give you a huge spanking,” she said with wide eyes.
I grabbed the broom and headed to the utility room to put it away. On the way back through the kitchen, I picked up my clothes and headed for my room. But when I got there, Melissa wasn’t there. Instead, I heard her in her own room opening drawers. I probably should have thought about that, but instead, there were all these butterflies in my stomach demanding my attention, and a combined tingling in my penis and behind egging me on.
I got to stand there and soak in that delicious anticipation that always precedes a spanking. The time when you know what is coming and you are alone with a body bristling with sexual energy. When Melissa walked in and I saw what was in her hand, I should have started apologizing. She had found a broken paddle and ball toy that now just consisted of a little paddle. I didn’t think it could hurt too much so I just stayed quiet.
“Lie down on your bed,” she ordered. I hadn’t made my bed so I laid down on the sheets. I figured she meant bottom up and I apparently guessed right.
Anyone who knew that this was a sexual thing and not just some weird game or a real spanking would have drawn out the moment. That is the way it was in my fantasies anyway. In the reality of a ten year old girl spanking her older stark naked brother—the same brother that occasionally picks on her and is mean to her—talk is cheap.
In retrospect, it was probably OK. It couldn’t have gone too much better that first time. I was just a big pile of sexual energy and any additional time on my stomach with my erect penis being caressed by the cool sheets was going to cause me to climax prematurely anyway. I couldn’t help moving my hips, wagging my behind in the air and thrusting in a parody of sexual coupling even for those few seconds. For me, spankings and every sex act were one and the same. To me, it was entirely natural to assume that the hip thrusts of the male during intercourse were more than coincidentally identical to the motions used to evade the impact of a punishing hand, paddling, cane, or whip.
Her little paddle-ball paddle broke me out of my sexual stupor and snapped me back to the present. There were two lucky things about my second spanking. First, the paddle was really light, and second, she isn’t very strong. Still, there was a sting immediately in my bottom that I hadn’t anticipated. I froze for the first couple spanks but then began having intercourse with my invisible partner again. My cotton lover beneath me passively allowed me to caress my penis upon her.
My sister spanked my alternating cheeks and spread a tolerable stinging burn across my entire behind. But her rapid staccato encouraged me also to dance rapidly on my bed. I realized with a surprise that a climax was near. There was almost no warning and certainly no time to prepare. I had been having orgasms for about a year so I knew what was happening. I liked to ejaculate into tissues so everything was nice and clean. I didn’t like the idea of being covered in my own ejaculate. That was fine for girls—they were supposed to like that—but boys are supposed to put it inside girls, not get it all over themselves.
I convulsed on the bed as the muscles in my perineum contracted involuntarily. She only spanked me a couple of times after my orgasm started probably because my actions might have looked like I was in real pain. I grunted into the sheets. My scrotum tightened firmly around my testicles as if to squeeze out every last drop of semen. Under my stomach, a small pool of potent teenage sperm soaked into my sheets and coated my stomach and penis.
It lasted, like all orgasms, for an eternity in my brain, but for only seconds in reality. When I relaxed after my spend, I realized that my sister was going to see I had made a mess on the bed (and myself) when I got up. I wondered momentarily if she would understand what had happened but then she said, “I think you’ve learned your lesson. You better get up and get dressed. Mom will be home soon.”
I got to my knees and looked under myself to confirm that, yes, white semen really stands out on navy blue sheets and I was going to need a tissue before putting my underwear on. If my sister didn’t leave the room, I was sure there would be some questions but I also knew she was right and that time was short.
“Ewe, what’s that on your bed?” she said pointing.
“I, um, had a little accident when you were spanking me,” I lied.
“It doesn’t look like pee-pee,” she ventured.
I didn’t think I could lie to her maybe because I wanted it to happen again but also because I didn’t need to have her ask anyone else what really happened.
“Not that kind of accident exactly. I liked how it felt rubbing my wee-wee against the bed when you were spanking me and when it feels real good for boys, that stuff comes out,” I explained.
“You mean, that’s like your sperm?” she asked suddenly much more interested. “I thought that only happened during sex.”
I was struggling now. “It is supposed to happen during sex but sometimes when a boy’s wee-wee gets rubbed the right way, it just happens.”
“Did it hurt?” she asked.
“The spanking hurt a little bit but when the stuff comes out it felt good. It always feels good when it comes out but makes a mess when it happens this way. I think when it happens during sex and goes into a woman, it doesn’t make a mess then because that is where it is supposed to go.” I was nervous.
“Your wee-wee is smaller now,” she said while pointing.
“Yeah, it gets smaller afterward for a little while,” I said before realizing that I just admitted to making my stuff come out, like, all the time. And as if responding to the attention, my little guy started to harden right up.
“Oh, and now it’s getting bigger again,” She giggled. “Is it going to come out again?”
“Um, I would have to make it come out, you know, by rubbing it and stuff.”
“Are you going to?” she asked a little quieter.
“Well, I could but I’m worried mom will come home.” Which was true.
“Will you show me how you do it the next time mom isn’t home?” she asked.
I didn’t think long enough about what I said next and I’m still not sure if I did the right thing. “I will if you spank me.” There was a gleam in her eye for sure.
“OK!” she said excitedly.
“I have to get cleaned up.” I said while reaching for the tissues. “You should put the spanking paddle away, I think.”
“Yeah, I better put YOUR spanking paddle away someplace nice and safe,” she taunted, spun, and headed back to her room.
I got things pretty cleaned up off my bed and got dressed. Mom wasn’t home yet so I went into the bathroom and pulled my pants down to inspect myself in the mirror. My little bottom was just a little pink. I thought about what would happen if mom spanked me tonight. Would she see that I had already been spanked? What if someone else saw my naked bottom now? They might wonder as well. A spanked bottom was the sign of a naughty boy, I realized. That was the mark of someone that had been in that humiliating position against their will because they deserved it. I was rock hard again.
At 13...;I had barely learned about masturbating by humping the mattress through pajamas. It was later when I learned how to do it by hand, and even later when I connected it with coitus.
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