Afraid and Chaste All the Time

This is an addendum to my Afraid All The Time post and will only really make sense if you read that first.

It has been a week since I gave her permission to give me a tune-up whenever she thinks it would be beneficial for both of us. It wasn't but a couple days later that I realized that constantly being in danger of a spanking based on her whim means that I am always thinking about that. Because of the constant threat, I realize that she is always on my mind and since she is on my mind, I keep focused on her, her needs, and making her feel loved. This is sort of the response that happens walking around with a stinging bottom for days after a hard spanking.

It is interesting that just the threat of a spanking intended to draw my attention to my wife is actually drawing my attention appropriately to my wife. Of course, for someone that likes being spanked, I wish she was properly provoked to apply wood to bottom but I dare not ignore her for my selfing desires. I promised I wouldn't do that and I won't.

Of course, as any reader of my blog knows, I prefer being spanked when I am sexually excited. Spanking is erotic for me and even if it is a spanking at her discretion, I would like to 'enjoy' it as much as possible.

That said, I'm a middle-aged guy and not always interested in sex like I was in my youth. If I ejaculate, I am very not horny for sometimes as long as a day. Masturbation for me has been based on timing for quite a few years. If I think sex is a possibility in the evening, I refrain from masturbation in the morning. If I know I am going to be spanked in a couple days, I stay hands off until then to maximize my arousal and desire.

Not knowing if a spanking is in store and wanting to be at least able to perform sexually or interested in sex at all if a spanking happens means that I have to be even more careful about the timing of any masturbation activities I engage in.

I didn't expect this either. At some point, I will need to share both of these observations with her. That should be an interesting conversation.

She has yet to take the option, by the way. A couple nights ago she noticed that something I was clamoring to do for her last week in my post-spanking puppy-love state I didn't leap at this week. There was a look and a question about why I couldn't do the task but that is where it ended. For a brief moment, I thought she might spank me but she didn't. I wondered if it crossed her mind, but was afraid to ask.

I think that she will have to surprise me with a spanking every now and then just so that the threat benefits remain as well. The threat of something that never happens isn't much of a threat after a while.