Spanked Like I'm 12-years-old Again

This is an expansion of a post I did "elsewhere" but I liked writing about the idea. My post was a wee bit long for that site too. It fits better here. It isn't a story but the bullet points a bit further down are sort of steamy.

Adult spanking comes in many, many flavors. This creates the usual problem for those that like a kink where it isn't just about finding someone else that likes our kink but we have to find the person that likes our particular flavor of that kink. To use the ice cream analogy, we might all end up at Ben & Jerry's but we are all over the map when we get there.

Clearly I, Johnny Fessée, am into a really specific kind of sexual spanking that involves complex age-play role playing. This works for me because when we play, I get to be a little boy, get my bottom well-spanked, and still have a sexual release.

Understandably, many people are really uncomfortable with age play where one, both or more of the participants pretend to be a child. From the outside, this looks like a bunch of pedophiles that are doing the next best thing. That isn't it. At all. Sure, there are freaks out there but most of us that pretend to be young, very young, or with one of those people in their sex play have zero interest in children sexually.

Also, we weren't all molested or wish we had been molested. I get a little tired of the "broken" label when it comes to sexual tastes. It seems overly Freudian and simplistic--like a movie where the pro/antagonists origin story is a single life event that wounds or shapes them inextricably. Real life doesn't work that way. Our brains are shaped by repetition, consistency, environment, and so much more.

Sure, some of us came from horribly traumatic moments and dysfunctional relationships but for most of all of us, our wiring just is. If there is a perfect brain, it is only theoretical. This means we are all broken and if we are all broken, well, then it is just a matter of degree.

I can't speak for everyone that likes their age play a little on the taboo side but I believe we want to 'recapture' a simpler time, an innocence, a naïveté, and a time when we were healthy, beautiful, fit, and just discovering our sexuality. First, it is total fantasy because at the time, we were confused, scared, and sexually useless. Speaking as a male who is a pretty quick shot at my advanced age, when I was emerging from puberty, touching my erection could create a sticky mess in just seconds. I wanted sex so bad at that age but it would have lasted seconds. Mere seconds.

There is probably a "chasing the dragon" component for many of us. Either in real life or our deep fantasy universe, our first sexual experience was probably at a young age. It was an "extreme" experience regardless whether it was healthy, unhealthy, or traumatic. If it was delightful, we may be seeking to relive that first eye-opening experience. If it was less awesome or outright nasty, we may be looking to "process" what happened to us by recreating the experience in ways where we control it. 

Though it may seem counter-intuitive, recreating a difficult experience can be very therapeutic. We can take a time when we were powerless, afraid, and felt in danger but then put our adult self into the same or similar situation and come out victorious. It is incredibly empowering especially when coupled with a sexual experience.

For whatever the reason, we may want to really feel like we did so many years ago. But it is so difficult! It feels like if I could just turn off the adult part of my brain and not see my adult self when I look down or in a mirror, could I be there again? I wish.

But why 12? For many of us, this was a crossroads age. Though not really a child, we probably still acted like children. We were far from being adults as well though we would have moments when we could be fairly mature. Never lasted for long, of course. At the same time, our bodies had turned against us but were also giving us all sorts of new feelings as well. We would be pushing for our autonomy from our parents, getting into trouble, freaking out about our body image, and wanting like crazy to have a boyfriend or girlfriend while being utterly clueless about what we would do with a romantic partner. I remember when a girl said she would go out with me being like when a dog actually catches the car it is chasing; I had no idea what to do next and she broke up with me days later.

If you aren't into getting spanked, it can be hard to fathom why this was the ideal time because it means that our idealized mythologs could be the sort of people that did not deserve to be punished but who would have had a conflicted multilayered experience if it happened. We chose as our ideal personas, personas that would be crushed, humiliated, traumatized, and scarred by a spanking.

Of course, your reasons may be different than mine but so many of us who are obsessed with spanking love that age. Innocent yet sexual. Mature yet powerless. 

All of that said, to feel like you are a 12-year-old getting a spanking you need to be spanked like a 12-year-old. Everything about what is happening has to be like it was back then.

What made the 12-year-old me be the 12-year-old me was the innocence and the fear. It was super scary thinking about getting a spanking when I was 12. That fear, anticipation, nervous excitement, and embarrassment are what we need to recreate to capture that feeling. In addition, there was a helplessness or sense of inevitability to the spanking. We were in control before we were naughty but then it is like a light switch and we went from “good” to “bad”; the spanking flips the switch back and there is just no other way besides the ritual and results of a sound spanking.

In order to recreate that feeling, we need to address each of those feelings and mimic them as best we can:

• Anticipation: Don’t skimp on anticipation. As much fun as an impromptu spanking may be, you lose the feeling of waiting for it to happen with those. I like to have a good day or more to think about what is to come. Don’t put it out of your mind either. Find a way to think about it all the time.
• Embarrassment: This is tricky because the things that embarrassed us when we were 12 may not be the same things when we are adults. A 12yo will not be comfortable with being naked in front of anyone. Most adults are.
  
  I’ve tried a couple things here like shaving off all my pubic hair, not covering my erection, dressing like a little boy, cross-dressing, etc. but really it takes two-to-tango on this. Embarrassment is a feeling about yourself but humiliation is when someone else makes you feel embarrassed. Let your spanker know that you need to be humiliated and give them the list of “fair” targets. For me, penis size is awesome as is my arousal but also how my bottom jiggles when I’m spanked or even how I look fetching the next thing I’m going to be spanked with.
• Dress: I think a spanking should always be on the bare bottom of a naked person. That said, until the clothes come off, dress the part of a 12yo if you can. Street clothes might be more difficult but pajamas, nighty, underwear appropriate for a child, etc. all not only put you into that place and time but also are a little silly on adults which enhances the embarrassment factor.
• Place: Where you were spanked when you were 12 (or where you think you would have been spanked) is probably where you should be spanked now. It might be tempting to just use your bedroom but there is something to be said for that long walk through the house to the kitchen, living room, or study where you get your spankings and where maybe a sibling or guest might see. The bathroom is great because all the tile makes it that much louder. Regardless, make it a special place where either your spanker is waiting or you wait for your spanker. I don’t think it should be where you two normally bump uglies or whatever.
• Implement: This is also important. BDSM people have all manner of interesting devices but when you were 12, the implements are much more pedestrian, common household objects like wooden spoons, hairbrushes, belts, or maybe a paddle.
• Reason: If you are the sort of person that needs a reason why you getting a spanking, keep it also age appropriate. Spanking offenses are character issues, not criminal issues. You get a spanking for a bad grade, lying, being mean, talking back, or not eating your vegetables. Arson, not so much. If you need to manufacture a reason, blame it on ‘playing with yourself’ because that is embarrassing, childish, and we are all “guilty” of it.
• Arousal: Maybe not everyone went into a spanking when they were 12 with tingling in the nether regions but if that was you, make sure that you are ready for action before the spanking starts. Nervous excitement may need to be manufactured now that we are older and in a little more control of our parts. Get to the edge. If you’ve got a little corner time to do before your spanking, this is an excellent way to spend that time. A very naughty way to spend that time, I might add.
• Fear: As adults, we should have negotiated a little with our spanker about how much is too much. This means that we won’t be spanked beyond what we can handle and this is a good thing. The challenge then is to make sure we aren’t super sure we can handle what we ask for. Safewords exist for when your mouth writes checks your bottom can’t cash.
  
  I’m into erotic spankings but even so, in order to capture this fear (which is quite the aphrodisiac for me) I want to be spanked hard and fast after I have my little accident. I ask her every time before my spanking to spank me extra hard if I make naughty.
• Words: Put away your adult words for everything when you are talking about your spanking and when it is happening. I use proper, clinical, or child’s words for everything: penis, vagina, doo-dad, pee-pee, thingy, tickle, tingle, orgasm, ejaculation, semen, sperm, stickies, messy, naughty, no-no, boom-boom, buttocks, bottom, special hugs, intercourse, etc. Don’t use the adult words or anything that makes your parts adult or sexual. Call each other using nicknames, baby names, or familial titles like mommy, daddy, ...
  
  Especially tricky here is the word itself: spanking. Call it what it is. Don't say it is smacking, beating, whipping, whopping, or any other word that isn't just as humiliating and childish as a spanking. Remember: this is the punishment fit for a child.
  
• Helpless: Easily the most difficult to recreate is the helpless and hopeless feeling that what is going to happen is just going to happen and there is nothing we can do about it. For this, I like bargaining: try to get out of your spanking. Your spanker should know this is what you are going to do and to just not let you talk your way out of it. Through all of it, don’t argue like a lawyer, user your 12yo vocabulary and combine that with 12yo logic: why shouldn’t you get your spanking? “Because I don’t want a spanking,” or “it’s too ouchy.”
  
  It is tricky because some of us have very scripted spanking rituals that we want but if you can, give you spanker as much freedom as possible to improvise. Positions, implements, rooms, timing, … let them change things, give you extra spanks, or change the plan. Give up as much control as you can.
• Acting: When you were 12 and getting that spanking, you certainly didn’t take your spanking quietly, stoically, or like you deserved it. You complained, cried, wiggled, and let everyone know how you felt. Use your little words, don’t swear, but definitely wiggle like it might actually help. Don’t really fight because, you know, adults can do a whole lot more fighting than a kid but act like you are really getting a spanking.
• Innocence: When we were 12, we didn’t know how all the sex parts worked. You aren’t going to be able to fake that level of naiveté but you can sort of ignore what is happening to you. It is best if your spanker is in on this, but if you are producing lubrication, are erect, ejaculate, or orgasm don’t treat it like a proper sexual experience or expression: these are signs of your naughtiness that should be commented on, belittled, tsk-tsk’d, and absolutely not hidden or left unnoticed. Someone was especially naughty during their spanking and your spanker should make you feel that way with words and maybe actions.
• Crying: Look, spankings really hurt or are supposed to really hurt. You probably cried when your were 12 and you need to want to cry now. Crying is hard because it is less physical and more emotional pain. Still, it won’t happen if you don’t let it happen or want it to happen.

That’s all I can come up with. Good luck!