No Permission Part 2: The Reality of the Thing

I am always interested in how the fantasy and the reality differ. Sometimes, of course, the fantasy is better than the reality. It is sad when that happens because this can sometimes ruin the fantasy. I would love to be brought to the point of crying my eyes out except that if I was crying my eyes out, I'm guessing that the trauma would be significantly worse than even a very severe spanking.

Most of the time, things are just different and many times the different is good. I think there is an additional challenge in BDSM where the scene doesn't always play out according to plan. Having a plan is important but improvisation is more the true mark of a genius.

The plan was to spend a couple hours doing chores and running errands getting spankings between each task so that I was constantly in pain and arousal. The last spanking was going to be the hardest and involve the hairbrush paddle. I was going to be against the bathroom counter facing the mirror with my erect penis resting on my towel on the counter. As she spanked me, I was going to be able to rub against the towel until I needed to squirt on the towel. I would ask for permission to make my mess, but she would just deny me until I finally couldn't wait, squirted while apologizing, and then earned myself a real blistering after I was done.

Most of the first couple spankings were awesome. We started later than I wanted to and the anticipation was deliciously awful. During my warm-up over her lap, I almost popped. Ten minutes later, I was in the same position getting a little harder spanking (the warm-up was more intense than normal even), I got close again. It was awesome edging during those spankings but I was very worried about the fun ending too soon.

Over a couple hours, we worked through almost all the spanking implements and lots of positions. Most of the positions were such that my penis wasn't in contact with ANYTHING so that I was maximally frustrated. After each spanking, I was always rock hard even though I wasn't always standing at complete attention beforehand. As I went about my next task, I would find myself dripping long stringy drops of pre-cum on my legs. The head of my penis was either cold and wet like a dogs nose or caked with dried pre-cum flaking off.

Eventually I ended up against the bathroom counter getting big cracks with the oak paddle. I was in the position I thought might work for my cummy spanking and indeed the position seemed good. It was cool to look down and she myself grow super hard as she paddled me. I suggested that we "finish" in that position later and she agreed.

Later came at the next spanking because we were running out of time. I had only recovered just a little from the paddle which made me good and nervous about getting a long brush spanking. 

I folded the towel a couple times so that it was a little higher and softer. The first problem I noticed was that I couldn't really push down on the towel. As she started spanking me, I rocked my hips back and forth. Though it felt good, it didn't feel great and when I am getting the brush, it has too feel great for me to cum.

This is where different can be better. I leaned over the counter a little in order to push down and get more friction but this meant that I was more open to her. Though I liked feeling my bottom jiggle embarrassingly at each spank when I am standing straight up, it hurt more and deeper when I was bent over. I had to ask her to go a little softer so I could get closer and she let thankfully did for a while.

I could feel myself getting closer and asked her if I could squirt. We had agreed that she would just deny me but we both suck at pretending, acting, and make-believe. She said 'no' and started spanking harder which was a nice touch. I slowed down but kept grinding because I was worried that if I stopped, I wouldn't be able to get back to the edge. The need was great and I asked again and got another simple 'no'. She was playing the role but clearly not able to really let herself get into it. I decided not to ask again.

I held out as long as I could and then just apologized repeatedly saying something like, "I'm sorry, I can't keep it in." It felt like I was apologizing profusely but I suspect that I was actually pretty quiet and inside myself. I wanted to rear back when I came so that when I came, the puddle would be at the near edge of the towel. That didn't happen. Instead, I was pressed tight against the counter and fully extended across the towel. Big spurts pulsed out in a just a second of bliss. For just a few second, the spanking didn't hurt and it was all about what we were watching on the towel. It was even pretty cool to see my own cock go off all by itself.

The only problem was that in my fantasy, I would be forced to push my shrinking penis into and through the puddle while she ruined my orgasm by spanking all the good feelings away. Because of where I was when I came, I just shrank away from my little dollop of semen. She really did put the heat to me though and it felt like she kept it up for minutes but it couldn't have been that long.

Of course, in retrospect, I shouldn't have tried to pretend so much. Neither of us are good at it. I wish I could lose myself in the moment and the role but I am far too self conscious to let go. Perhaps there is a chemical solution to that problem but I don't think there is. In fact, I like being clean and sober though the idea of sporting a persistent Viagra fueled erection sounds pretty cool.

I should keep the dialog in my head unless she is into it. If she isn't totally sold out on the thing, I am just a mess of self-doubt worrying about what she thinks of me. I've noticed that she needs to be herself and not some alter ego. Certain things, places, positions, and such work for her but only when she is present. I, on the other hand, want to be someone else. In fact, I am always struggling to be someone or something else. She is just comfortable in her own skin but I am always fighting against myself.

Still, it was great and, like aways, I can't believe how lucky I am to be married to a woman that is understanding enough to step out of her comfortable place to indulge me. But it is more than that and we both know it. She pushed the reset button. She cleared my head. She brought me back to earth. She gave me what I needed and I just hope I can somehow show her how much I love her.

No Permission

Most of my stories are fiction and fantasy. Other times, I write my "plans" out. This is a combination in a way. Hopefully, I will get to try this shortly and, yeah, I'll write up how it went. Check back soon!

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"Please, I can't hold it in. I need to cum," I begged. 

"No, you aren't ready yet. Just wait," she said calmly over the sound of my hairbrush spanking. 

I'm standing in the bathroom against the counter looking at myself getting spanked in the mirror. My testicles are just at the edge of the counter and my erect cock is gently resting on the towels I like to cum on. I had to fold two of them twice in order to get them to the right height and add a little softness to the hard counter. She is standing to my left with the wicked little hairbrush paddle methodically working on turning my bottom the shade of a tomato. 

The spanking today started hours ago with a little warm-up just to get the blood flowing. I was already rock hard back then and it was clear I was on a hair trigger already. I was worried I was going to have an accident and told her so. We agreed that if I did, I would get a nice long session with the hairbrush after I cleaned up the mess. A long, hard spanking without the protection of my erect penis was a terrifying threat. 

The post ejaculation spanking is important for me. With an erection, I can handle almost anything. It feels like cheating in a way. After my little fun time, the spanking just hurts and I want it to stop. If I can handle the pain and take a good long and hard spanking after my squirt, then I seem to feel good about myself. I'm happier. When I've caved, used my safe word or somehow convinced her it isn't necessary, I am disappointed later. 

We were careful all day to make sure that when I was spanked, there was nothing touching the underside of my penis that might cause a misfire. In between the spankings, I would do chores or even run errands. Even my rough jeans against my sensitive genitals was arousing. At the grocery store, I had to pretend to study some canned vegetables on the bottom self for a few minutes just to calm down. 

The spankings got harder and harder as the day went on. She would spank me and I would scurry off to complete some task like cleaning the kitchen. At first, I would dig into my task with the energy of the arousal and pain driving me on. After a few minutes or so I would settle in and get the job done but then just as I was wrapping up the chore, I would realize that another spanking awaited me just minutes away. My erection would return and butterflies would fill my stomach. Once the task was complete, I would pick up something for her to spank me with, go find her and ask for another spanking. 

It was humiliating being naked all day in the cold house with my red bottom and clearly aroused penis on display. My legs are covered in dried pre-cum. At times, the tip of my penis would be cold because of the wetness I was secreting. 

At long last, the chores were done and errands completed. It was time for my last spanking. The usual pattern is that I am finally allowed to orgasm sometime during the final spanking of the night. She likes me to just hump her thighs as she spanks me but a couple times she's released me in the middle to go relieve myself in the bathroom or stand in front of her and masturbate. Then, after all of my magic is out of my body, I go back over her lap for the most painful spanking of the day. 

Today we thought about trying something different. I had noticed earlier that when I am spanked standing against the counter in the bathroom, everything is at almost just the right height. I was so aroused all day that during one of the spankings in that position, my cock looked like it does just before I pop. My testicles were pulled up tight in my scrotum and I was completely erect with a nice big drop of pre-cum at the tip. I even touched the cold counter and it felt dangerously good. 

I mentioned all this to my wife and pointed out that if I wasn't careful, I might spurt all over the counter. Rather than the usual over the knee spanking at the end, we decided to try this instead. So, I folded up my towels and assumed the position. 

The spanking could not overshadow how good it felt to finally have some stimulation on my penis. I just rested on the soft terrycloth as the spanking started but even the good feelings could not compete with negate the sting of the spanking. I twitched and waves of electric pleasure emanated from my penis as it moved on the towels. It felt too good to finally be stimulated and I gently humped the counter. I quickly realized that I couldn't thrust too hard without smacking my balls painfully but I didn't need to either; drawing my penis back as I stuck out my bottom as if asking for more punishment almost felt better that pushing forward. 

Quickly, I realized what was about to happen and I froze. I always ask for permission before I cum. "I'm ready to squirt. Can I cum, please?" I asked quickly and breathlessly. I knew that answer before she said it because the answer is always the same. 

"No, we just got started. I think you need to wait a little longer," she said. I was caught and am caught just on the verge of orgasm. I am not at the point of no return but I can see the point not too far away. The sting of the little paddle is also becoming a problem and every twitch I make because of that sting is creating more of a problem as I try not to soak my towel in semen. 

"Please, I really want, ow, to cum," I whine. 

"Well, it isn't about what you want now, is it? I'm doing the spanking so it is all about what I want and I don't think this is the right time for you to have your little fun. Now be a good boy and hold it in," she said sounding very sure of herself. Unfortunately she accented those last four words with hard spanks right where my buttocks connect with my thighs and I lost the battle to stay still. 

Good feelings fill my penis again as I rub involuntarily against my towels. It is going to happen and I won't be able to stop it. "Please, it is happening," I beg. "I can't stop it," I say a little louder. 

"No," is all she says and just spanks harder. 

"I, oh no, please, I can't, ow, it needs to come out, I'm sorry," I ramble as I clench and unclench my hands on the counter. 

"Don't you dare," she warns ominously. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, oh oh, <unintelligible blubbering>, please," it sounds like I might actually be crying as I beg. 

"You just wait, mister," she commands. 

"I can't, I can't, its cumming. Oh God, its happening. I can't stop it. I'm sorry, ohhh," I cry as I pull back on the towel. I'm shaking with all the mixed emotions and feelings of the moment. My willpower has failed, my orgasm is seconds away, and my bottom is on fire. Correction: my bottom was on fire. Suddenly, that is not a problem anymore though I know the spanking is continuing uninterrupted. My orgasm has my attention but I don't want to give in to it; I want to appear as blameless as possible. This orgasm happened to me. I didn't create it or make it happen. I am helpless. 

The tingling of the orgasm runs up my legs and my arms signaling to me that I've lost this fight entirely. As I start shaking, the first spurt shoots out. It isn't much but clearly the damn is broken. The first drops are mostly clear pre-cum but the second spurt half a second later is good thick semen. It is the stuff of blowjob nightmares and it pours out into a little puddle right in front of tip of my very engorged and blue tinted penis. 

I am pulled way back so my bottom is sticking out. There is plenty of towel between the tip of my erection and the edge of the towel. Even pulled back as I am, we can both watch the proceedings of my ejaculation. Every muscle seems to be tense as I start to push forward a little as the next spurt emerges. The puddle of my goo extends up the towel as my orgasm reaches its apex. Sounds escape my throat that seem to be some variation on "no" and "sorry" mixed with the moans and groans men make during orgasm. It feels so good as the three more little pulses push the remaining thick semen out of my tiny slit. I can feel Kegel contractions continue even when I am clearly empty. 

And like a light switch is flipped, the sting returns to my bottom and it is worse than ever.  I struggle to stay in place but feel myself slowly pushing forward and rising up on my toes. In seconds, the edge of the counter is touching my thighs, the tip of my still mostly hard penis is almost at the far edge of my cummy towel, and my testicles are also now on the towel and resting in a puddle of semen. 

Through watery tear filled eyes I watch my penis become flaccid as it also rests in my emission. All the while, the spanking continues. Soon I hear myself start begging for her to stop but she knows better. It has to hurt now. She has to take away all the good sexy feelings and make me suffer through this ordeal. I wiggle and jiggle trying to escape the onslaught but only succeed in rolling my soft penis and droopy testicles in semen. At last she relents to my begging and I relax a little. 

"Boy did you make a mess," she says placing the paddle on the counter. I sniffle and nod in agreement. Clean up is a little tricky because I have to use the clean bottom towel to wipe off with but once she is convinced that the sticky stuff is safely contained and I am safe, we hug. "Thank you," I say followed by, "I love you."

Therapy Session

She just feels too good around me. Her short trimmed pubic hair presses warmly against the base of my cock and nuzzles my tight scrotum. My hard cock extends up her canal swelling and throbbing in preparation for my immanent release. I entered her just seconds ago in a single thrust. She was wet from foreplay but hadn't yet orgasmed. Her vagina lovingly squeezes me and encourages my seed to spill into her. I want to wait; to prolong our coupling and last as long as the porn stars as they make their starlets writhe orgasmically until they are begging him to cum on their faces. 

I can't last today and, honestly, I almost never can. I barely move--withdrawing slightly--and I feel the inevitable point-of-no-return upon me and I freeze for a moment. But I can't  hold still and my need takes over. I thrust back in and moan a soft "no" into her neck as I pump my semen deep into her. She pats and strokes my back as I indulge my carnal need and fulfill my evolutionary duty attempting to impregnate my mate. 

My orgasm is wonderful, draining, and and perfect. The feeling of my semen being involuntarily pumped through my narrow opening is as it should be. The process of copulation is completed in seconds as every drop is forced out. Something inside me is relieved by the emptiness. The tension is released. The act is done. I have performed my biological duty and am rewarded with a flood of good feelings, love for my spouse, and sudden desire to rest. 

All would have been perfect in the universe except for the object of my love and desire below me lying frustrated beneath my weight. Her need remains and though she would claim that it was not unpleasant, clearly her experience was inferior to mine. After many such experiences, I no longer could stand the guilt of being such a poor lover. We have an agreement now and though she claims it is unnecessary, I made her swear to enforce the rules. 

"Was that nice, baby?" she asks tenderly. I just nod into her shoulder. "You came so fast. It must have felt very good. It felt like a lot too." I keep nodding trying to enjoy the moment knowing that it was not going to last much longer. 

"Today," she continues, "I think I would prefer to be on top. When you are ready, OK?" I moaned. None of this sounded like a good idea but I had to comply. I climbed off letting my softening cock slip out of her. The cold air felt shocking against my wet member especially considering the soft, warm, and very wet place he had just been. 

I rolled over and she was up in a flash not wanting any of my fluids to drip out and mess up the sheets. She faced the headboard straddling my head and as she lowered herself down to be serviced by me, I saw the white of the load that I had deposited start to leak out. Before I could protest, she was pressed against my mouth and I was tasting our combined secretions. I don't like the taste of what I produce or the texture. When I am aroused, this doesn't seem like a bad idea but as soon as I've had my release, this is just an unpleasant chore. 

I did my best to please her and was successful at not only bringing her to what appeared to be an excellent and powerful orgasm, but I am sure that she was sparkly clean when I was done. As she spasmed around my tongue, I started to enjoy myself a little and even felt my little guy swell-up just a bit. I certainly wasn't at the point of having a serviceable erection yet but it was promising. 

She calmed down and climbed off of my face to take a kneeling position beside me as she gathered herself. One look at my face, and she started to laugh, however. Apparently, I was a slimy mess which tickled her. She glanced down as well and saw my member at half-mast. "Not quite ready to try again, huh?" she mocked. 

"No, but soon I think," I said hopefully. 

"Well, what should we do while we wait? Hmmm?" she pretended to think. "I know, why don't we give you a nice spanking with your favorite hairbrush," she said exuberantly. 

"But, didn't I do a good job?" I whined. 

"Pretty good, I guess," she smiled. "But you know that doesn't really matter, does it? Now, go get the brush," she commanded. 

During my walk to the closet and back, she had taken my spot on the bed with herself propped up by the headboard. She reached out her right hand for the brush while patting her lap with her left. She is a small woman, thin and pale with small perky breasts. She was so pretty like that but still my little guy wasn't completely erect. 

I climbed over her lap and let myself down so that my swollen penis rested between her thighs. It felt good and I think I mustered a little more hardness. Then the cold wood of the brush was tapping my cheeks and I braced for what was to come. 

As far as I am concerned, there is no such thing as a mild hairbrush spanking. I know she didn't start out hard but it stung right from the beginning. I was a wimp about the whole thing and took it very poorly like I usually do. There was kicking, wiggling, and all sorts of protest noises as she reddened by bottom. I don't ever really cry but I do feel sorry for myself whenever she spanks me. Sometimes if I am aroused and excited enough, it feels good to hump her thighs but I wasn't hard enough yet for it to feel really good. I tried though and it gave me something to concentrate on but didn't stimulate me enough to make me forget about the fire she was producing on my bottom. 

"Think you are ready to try and fuck me like a real man now?" she asked during a pause in the spanking. 

"Yes, yes, I'll try," I answered right away. 

"Try?" she asked and started spanking again. "I don't need you to try. I need you to perform like a man this time. You may only cum after I have at least once. Control. You need self-control." 

"Ow, ow, ow," I protested. "I promise I will do it right," I blurted out. 

She slowed down but didn't stop. "You better this time," she said punctuating each word of the the sentence with hard cracks of the brush. "OK, get up and let's see if your little guy is ready for the challenge." 

I didn't want my bottom in danger any longer so I popped up as fast as I could. My "little guy" was only partially erect though clearly swollen and engorged. The head was wet from leaking pre-cum and probably post-cum like the little guy had been crying during the spanking as well. We both inspected him and my dangling testicles for a moment while I knelt beside her. 

I was a sniveling shell of a man with my ineffectual member dangling at half-mast, my bright red bottom stinging behind me, and chastised puppy-dog look on my downcast face. "Well, it is what it is, I guess," my wife said with a little resigned sigh. The disappointment in her voice cut me and I felt myself wanting to cry. 

"I, um, I'm not ready yet," I whispered. "I <hic> please spank me some more. I'm sorry for not being the husband you deserve," I said softly holding back as best I could but felt a tear escape and roll down my face. 

"OK, baby, let's spank some more," she said like a mother to her little boy. She guided me gently over her lap again, tapped the wood to my already stinging bottom, and when she took it away as she raised her arm to deliver the necessary impact, pain, and punishment her little boy deserved, I wiggled my bottom back and forth and felt it jiggle like it was already swollen. 

Crying during a spanking really doesn't come naturally to me. There are so many things happening that for some reason the tears rarely come. The shame I felt made this one different. It felt like she really was disappointed in me and when the spanking started, each spank contained some of her anger and disappointment. The tears came suddenly and surprised me. I was already ashamed of my pre-mature ejaculation, having to taste my own ejaculate, being spanked the first time, and then needing to be spanked even more. I went limp over her lap only kicking the bed a little and grabbing at the comforter. The sound of my own crying and sobbing filled the room. 

She let me have a good cry encouraging me along with the brush alternating painful spanks on my bottom cheeks. All the while she rubbed my back like when she did when I orgasmed earlier and said soothingly and softly, "its OK, baby, let it all out," over and over. 

She stopped when it was clear the fight was gone and I was cried out. "There, there," she cooed, "All better now?" I just nodded. "Good, now, I want you to hump my legs a little so that you pee-pee gets nice and hard so that you can put it back into my pussy and make me happy. Think you can do that?" I nodded vigorously. "I'm going to give you spanks right here," she said tapping the brush right on my lower crack, "until you get it up." It didn't sound like a question but I nodded anyway and started humping her legs. 

It wouldn't have taken too long rubbing my penis against her soft warm thighs for me to get hard but every time I reared back, she spanked me right over my bottom hole causing the burn to reach a new sensitive place. I would slam down to escape that spank and shove my penis between her thighs only to be rewarded by a hard spank on my clenched bottom. It was so difficult to focus on the task at hand but she softly rubbed my back and seductively chanted, "that's my good boy. Time to get all big and hard for me. I want you in my pussy. Come on baby, let's get big and hard so you can give your wife a good fucking. Imagine how good it will feel when I cum all around that big cock of yours. You'll be so proud that you made me cum. Won't that be nice? It'll be so nice to make love to your wife like a real man. You'll get to pound me so hard my fillings will rattle. Come on, baby, just a little harder. Ooo, I feel it getting hard between my thighs. Does that feel good? Yeah, I bet it does. Just a little more. Oh so, hard. OK, get up; time to fuck me!" 

I was up in a flash. She flipped over with the brush still in her hand and assumed the position of a wanton woman in heat: on her knees, ass in the air, spread revealing her gaping labia lips and pink pucker between perfect pale cheeks, and with her face pressed against the bed. I got behind her and though I was hard, I wasn't rock hard. Tears were still in my eyes making the world a little watery and my nose was sniffly from my cry. I plunged into her and even a little less than fully erect, I sank to the hilt. She moaned in acceptance. 

I took her. That is the only way to describe it. Our first coupling of the night was making love like if we were trying to conceive a baby. This was primal fucking. I tried to pound her into the headboard. It wasn't long before she was convulsing on the bed making low sounds from deep in her throat as she came. I grabbed her hips tighter and moved her over my now rock hard cock. She gripped the comforter and seemed to just hold her breath. She told me later that it was just waves of a long single orgasm. I wanted to hear her beg for me to stop which she might have done had I not felt my own orgasm building. My stinging bottom was forgotten, my tears dried, and the little boy was all grown up as I pumped my seed into her again. We froze in place feeling my member pulsating inside her seemingly in time with the contractions of her quivering vaginal walls. 

Then it was perfectly complete and both of us gasped for air. I slipped from her and quickly began to shrink as I rolled onto my back on the bed cringing as the sting reawakened when my bottom pressed into the mattress  She flopped over on her side bringing her legs together trapping my spend inside. The room smelled of our sex. I pulled her close and then on top of me. She straddled me and I felt the warm fluid drip from her onto my flaccid penis. We dozed off and awoke an hour later. As she snuggled into my neck, I hugged her tight. Her hair in my face, breasts pressed against my chest, perfect ass in my hands, I found myself getting hard. As I slowly entered her that third time, she moaned her approval.