It Has Been Too Long

I really need to ejaculate. An orgasm would be nice but at this point I barely even care if it feels good. Any release would be good. It hasn't been very long but I really can't go even this long without losing my mind.

The little guy has been hard a lot these past couple days and I expect that he will stay that way until he makes his little squirt during my spanking a couple days from now. He's all shaved and ready for the big day. Little boys get spankings and even if I might make a a big boy messy on my cummy towel, I still am being spanked like a little boy and I ought to look the part. Little boys don't have hair on the penis and scrotum and neither will I.

What I like most about the days leading up to my spankings is how swollen my scrotum gets. I know that it isn't where the semen is actually stored but something about being aroused so much makes it bigger, rounder, and less droopy.

I don't like being erect in my jeans all the time. That is pretty uncomfortable for me.

I ooze a lot of pre-cum during these days and it always makes me feel a little embarrassed. The tip of my penis is cold much of the time because of the cooling and drying drops that escape. It reminds me how wrong it is to be excited waiting for my spanking. The wet spots and stains in my underwear especially at the gym make me blush with shame and when I put my underwear in the hamper at night, I bury them a little so my wife won't see.

The biggest problem is that when I have a couple days to think about my spanking, I start coming up with stories in my head about why I am getting spanked. My wife is becoming more comfortable with playing the games with me but she doesn't always appreciate the story line. Sometimes it has to just stay in my head.

The story line this time: I am not allowed to ejaculate without her supervision and approval. Sometimes I get to have sex with her but other times--when she thinks I won't be good in bed or she isn't in the mood--I am allowed to ejaculate only when my bottom is bright red and I have tears in my eyes. She allows this because she knows that boys need to ejaculate regularly but she doesn't want me to enjoy masturbating more than having sex with her. She will allow my orgasm but I have to pay for it.

First, I have to wait so that I really need it. This is indeed happening. Days of inappropriate erections, stained underwear, and being distracted. Delicious and cruel.

Next, I need to be spanked a couple times before I am allowed my little fun. The first time is a warm up so that I can take longer spankings later. Then, after a little rest, I get a long second spanking that in addition to making my bottom sting and burn, tickles my prostate producing more seminal fluid. There might be a third spanking just to torture me a little more. 

Finally, I get to have my orgasm but she spanks me for a while first to ignite the fire and take my attention away from the good feelings in my penis. She will then give me permission and instruct me on how she wants me to orgasm. She might make me hump her lap until I squirt or stand in front of her or go to the bathroom and masturbate while she waits impatiently perhaps even chiding me for taking so long. If I am over her lap, she won't even stop spanking as I work to release into my towel. After I squirt, she always makes me go over her lap (if I am not already there) for a fast and hard dose of the brush. I think the brush spanking should last as long as it took me to masturbate to my little orgasm. The brushing ruined the afterglow and erases whatever good feelings I felt during my orgasm.

Regardless of whether she plays out this story line with me, I know for sure that it is really going to hurt. She is getting so much better at spanking me and I think she is starting to enjoy it too. Last time involved four separate spankings separated by errands and chores. The first one was just a warm-up and no big deal. I've realized that I need a pretty thorough warm-up to get the endorphins flowing and so that I don't bruise.

The second spanking was with a spoon. I was bent over with my penis tucked back between my legs so that I wouldn't hump the cushion and make my mess too soon. I don't think I've ever been this exposed during a spanking before. The less sensitive top of my erection was pressed against the cushion and I could feel the cool air against the underside. Because I was tucked back like that, it felt like my scrotum was pushed back as well and it felt vulnerable to me. I was bent over and my legs were spread which spread my cheeks as well. I assume that my little bottom hole was visible should she want to look.

She is good with the spoon. It is so stingy but no one strike is overwhelming. Instead, she just lights little fires all over and then sometimes concentrates on one place until it becomes too much before concentrating on another place until it becomes too much. I can take a lot of this and it is my favorite. Unfortunately she has a new trick where she somehow spanks right at the junction of buttocks and thighs on both sides at the same time. It really hurts and I think she likes how I wiggle after she does it.

The spoon spanking was pretty long and I think I stayed more erect than not the whole time. When I finally got up, I realized I had been leaking pre-cum on to the insides of my thighs. It felt good but not good enough rubbing my little guy against my cummy towel during the spanking. I told her that she made my penis cry with her spanking and I think she liked that too much. 

The next spanking was a quick ten with the oak paddle over the pillows on the bed. I made sure I was tucked back again but I didn't feel as exposed. I should have asked for more but I am never sure about that paddle. Next time I'll be braver.

The last spanking was over her knee and I knew I would finally get to make my squirt. I was waiting for her by the chair when she walked in the room and my penis was totally erect. While waiting, I had been playing with myself but I had to keep slowing down or I was going to shoot. I was worried that I would make my mess just going over her lap before the spanking started. We have a rule that even if that happens, I still get the spanking. Just because I can't control myself doesn't mean that I don't get my bottom blistered.

I told her that I needed to cum and asked her if she wanted me to take care of that before the spanking. I offered to do it in front of her or go masturbate in the bathroom. She said she liked it when I humped her legs knowing, of course, that I also like that. I thanked her for spanking me and told her I loved her. Then I asked her to make sure she spanked me extra hard and fast with the brush after I ejaculated.

I had to hold back a little at first because it felt too good. After a while, it started to really sting and I started humping trying to make the good feelings in my penis override the burning sting in on my bottom. Always when I am in that position, I image what it must look like to my wife of all these years to see her husband humping her lap like a teenager in a back of a car on homecoming night. I imagine it is a vision of a hormonal overload coupled with a complete lack of skill mixed with desperation and selfishness.

It was a good orgasm that time but it ended quickly and was completely replaced by the brush punishing my bottom. At one point, I realized that I was rocking back and forth making my bottom wiggle while the brush just made it bounce. It hurt terribly and blotted out all other thoughts.

She didn't spank for much longer and she didn't have to. Her six foot tall, two hundred pound, athletic husband was reduced to a little boy over her lap. I got up quicker than usual (maybe I didn't want her to get impatient and make me get up). The puddle on my cummy towel was bigger than usual which I think pleased her while also disgusting her.

As we talked for a couple minutes afterwards, I felt the wonderful brain reset happen as the chemicals flood over me and do their magic. 

Someplace out there is a picture of a man wearing nothing but an apron and a bright red behind washing dishes in the kitchen. The caption is something like "Real women don't do housework". I haven't been able to find this picture again and it probably won't live up to my imagination of it. Still, something about it spoke to me.

I feel love when people do things for me. Acts of service work for me. She likes gifts but I suck at gifts. I am trying but I can do acts of service as well as receive them. I decided I didn't want her to do housework anymore. I want her to never have to wash a pan or do laundry or shovel the drive way or take out the garbage. The only thing I ask is that sometimes she picks up a paddle or spoon or brush and makes my bottom bright red.

In just a couple days, I am going to get a spanking and in just a couple days time, my little penis will get to play grownup and squirt out all the built up cum. She will probably let me hump her lap but she might make me take care of it before we even start the spanking. She might stop in the middle and send me to the bathroom to take care of my problem. Or she might spank me so hard that I can't do my dirty business and will just have to wait until the spanking is over before slinking off to the bathroom to rub my little guy until he dribbles onto a little piece of toilet paper while I think about what it would be like have sex with a woman.

She loves me and I think she is starting to like spanking me. This is getting interesting.